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She’s done it all; dating sites, meeting guys at cons, the comic store, chatting up friends from class and at work.

Being told “You’re too intimidating” is incredibly aggravating to women.

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She’s geeky to her Joss-Whedon-loving core, a Whovian, Vertigo-reading, 3rd edition D&D (none of that 4th ed crap thank you very much) gamer with the con stories to prove it. While it’s true that many men will use it as a polite dodge to avoid saying “I’m not attracted to you”, when it comes up over and over again, it’s a sign that maybe there’s more to it.

And don’t get me wrong, this isn’t someone looking for geeky attention or a propped up fantasy. But “intimidating” is almost uselessly vague, especially if they keeps coming up; it covers a multitude of meanings to the point that it means everything and nothing at once.

Is the person doing the calling trying to say you're an impressive and accomplished woman? He'll see you as a whole person and not just a scarily impressive job title. If you find yourself doing so for the sake of a man, snap out of it!

Success doesn't just have to be a work thing, either.

” You search your brain for some reason as to why this fool isn’t falling over himself for your incredible friend and come up with only one plausible answer. I see my intimidating friends as strong, assertive women.

When it comes to texting a new potential boo, even the chillest among us can start to feel a bit hectic.

Should you be real af and text him as soon as you get his messages? Should you calculate how long it takes him to respond to you, triple Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year, fam.

These are things that I admire and wish I saw in myself. But sometimes I wonder if my quippy response is correct; is it really intimidation that keeps the men from my fabulous friends?

And if they are intimidated, is that good intimidation (as I suspect), or is it more of a turn-off thing?

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